I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
