mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
