The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
