He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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