i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Panties = found
Randomize
