Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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