Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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