Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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