It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Your shirt... Was in my pants
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
