i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
