Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
