I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
