I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
How external is "for external use only"?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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