Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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