Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
