i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
