why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
