i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I could fuck to npr.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
