Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
His nipple licking is glorious
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