He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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