I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
