and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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