love makes seman taste better
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
