Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
