whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
