Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
