Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
