WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
