planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize