i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
she woke up with a sticky ear
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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