just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
