New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
