i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
