He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
