Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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