I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it penis luge time yet?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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