Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
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The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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