i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
