I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
