How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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