while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize