i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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