idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
