I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
