i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
