She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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