There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
