Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
