based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize