Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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