Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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