i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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