Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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