..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
