didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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