When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
