I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize